Zombie Madness 2010

My good friend Melissa pinged me at work one day with the greatest idea ever! That idea was the zombie crawl. Every year in Denver thousands of people dress like Zombies and walk up and down 16th Street mall!

Apparently Mel, knowing my love for themes, knew I would say yes without thinking twice. I mean come on....not only is it a themed event, but I was actually going to get the chance to dress gory, scary, and freaky as shit! This is important because as a girl it is not often that you have the chance. The only chance Halloween tries to give us is slutty; especially for us single ladies. Although let it be known I try and go the more creatively cute route. Just you wait for future Halloween 2010 blogs!

So, Mel also told me that makeup artists may be there to help us out with our makeup! This makes things perfect; especially since I have never dressed as a zombie before.

But we still needed scars. So we drove to the Wizard's Chest in Cherry Creek and picked out our scars. Mel picked out a deep forehead gash. I picked out a cheek gash. Not only was it a cheek gash, the gash looked like it was being held together by 3 safety pins. Mel informed me while I was making my purchase, "That is wicked sick, if I really have to look at that all day, I may have to vomit." (For those of you who don't know, Mel is a New England girl, who says words like wicked.) Needless to say, I didn't care how "wicked" sick it was, this was my time to shine in the world of gore....so I bought it!

The day of the walk comes. We will skip the early morning particulars (Only Mel will ever know why I say this). We get in line. The line is long. But we wait for our make-up. The time finally comes.

So what's next.....drinking, zombie walking, learning the thriller, and all fun things! The freaking city had fucking signs everywhere.....warning people of the zombies downtown.....Once again.....Denver, you continue to amaze me!

Now a Single Malt Scotch Kind of Girl

My friend Mark from work let me know that his boyfriend had found a whisky tasting for us to go to. A man had just found the key to my heart, but alas he had a boyfriend. However since Mark is really one of my besties I was not deterred, I was ecstatic! The whisky we were going to be tasting was Macallan, a whisky distillery from the Speyside region of Scotland. Therefore we would be enjoying an evening of friendship and single malt scotch. I have always been a cheap whisky drinker, and now I was going to go over to the classy side. And best of all the tasting was FREE!

So the night started with myself, Mark, Tony, Lori, and Calla going to the Walnut Room for a beer. None of us had ever ordered a whisky neat before, so we weren't really sure what to expect. My whiskey experiences had always been with Coke mixers or slammed out of a shot glass. My experiences were never of whiskey sipped in class, style, or manly sophistication. We also had a few appetizers because no one new how much single malt scotch we would be consuming that night.

When we first arrived in line, we were checked in via a cocktail waitress with a little black dress and an IPAD- classy. Once she checked us in, she handed us each a gold coin. We were to exchange our gold coin for our first sample of a 10-year single malt scotch. 750 ml of the regular 10 year fine oak cask will run you about 30-40 dollars.

Tony, Mark, Me, Lori, and Calla

We entered the room and received our first taste of single malt scotch. It was delicious. The kind of drink that you sipped slowly and that made you feel all warm inside. There were also lots of yummy appetizers. I only got to try the chicken pesto poppers, but I heard that the seared tuna bites were amazing! A professional photographer was also on hand to take our pictures and make us feel like important rockstars. Don't believe me, take a look for yourself (makes me wished I had dressed up a bit):

After the pictures and the warm tingling feeling from the 10 year scotch, we proceeded into the main room. There we were seated, and a cute Scottish man came out and proceeded to engage us with his whit and charm. A cute Scottish man with whit and charm in the whisky business....a man after my own heart. My friend Mark even looked at me and said, "Oh my gosh Emily, It's your dream man!"But once again, ALAS, this time the man after my own heart was married. However I was still not deterred as years of scotch were about to pass right into my belly.

We proceeded to listen to the whit, charm, and jokes of the Scottish man as we indulged in:

12-Year Single Malt Scotch which is anywhere between $43 and $57 for a 750ml bottle

15-Year Single Malt Scotch which is anywhere between $70 and $80 for a 750ml bottle

17-Year Single Malt Scotch which is anywhere between $125 and $130 for a 750ml bottle

18-Year Single Malt Scotch which is anywhere between $140 and $165 for a 750ml bottle

According to Wikipedia back in 2007 a bottle of 1926 vintage Macallan was sold at a Christies auction for 54k making it the most expensive bottle of liquor ever sold!

Although they were all good. My favorite was the 15 year and the 17 year. The cute Scottish man had done his job, he had made me a fan of Macallan. And even more importantly, I learned that I am a single malt scotch girl! I cannot wait for the tastings to come, and I can't wait to learn more about whisky!!!!

Tour de Denver!

Work. Never fun, right? Well every year the company I work for hosts a scavenger hunt. A chance to travel around town, see the sights, and enjoy day drinking! And who doesn't love day drinking?  Well as you know, in true modern-day scavenger hunt fashion, you must bring along a digital camera to document the places you go. This year we went to a lot of places that are landmarks of Denver. Since most of my friends from the South never come up here, I thought I would take the time to show you a little bit of my town. So take this time to sit back, relax, and enjoy the show. It is my own version of ," Oh the places you will go." Like Dr. Suess but Emily in Denver style.

Let's start off with my very own place of work. I love the location! Not the prettiest building, but it is downtown. I can walk to work. During lunch I can even walk to 16th Street mall. Location, location, location

I was on a team with some people from my team at work. As seen above in the picture. We were going to have some fun, but before we began our journey, we read through the clues and marked where each location would be on the map. This would be our strategy and would help to make us a finely tuned scavanging machine.

What great luck to find out the first stop on our list was the Horseshoe. This is a bar down the street from work. A lot of people go there for happy hour on Friday's. Today we went for a shot of Tequila and a picture to document the fact that we had solved the first clue.

After feeling all warm and tingly inside from the tequila shot we had to move onto the next locale. The Colorado State Capitol.

 It's a nice building with a lot of history, but the picture we needed was of the mile high marker. If you look closely you can see that the 13th step that says one mile above sea level. Exactly one mile. That my friends is why we are the Mile high city at an elevation of 5280 feet.

Fun Fact: Beulah red" is the name of the red marble that gives the Colorado State Capitol its distinctive splendor. Cutting, polishing, and installing the marble in the Capitol took six years, from 1894 to 1900. All of the "Beulah red" marble in the world went into the Capitol. It cannot be replaced, at any price. 

Next stop was Civic Park. The park is surrounded by the state capitol, the denver local government building, the denver public library, and the art museum. If you look at the picture of the capitol above you can see part of the park. This park is downtown and hosts a lot of events....note the tents and what not in the background. I would say there was probably going to be another event that very weekend, however for some reason we were only interested in the trash.

Next stop was the Denver Art Museum. Denver is littered with art and sculptures. This sculpture is the Big Sweep. A 35foot tall broom and dustpan made of painted metal.

The next stop may be one of the best places in Denver. If you love cookies and come to this place, you just may never leave. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I give you the one and only cookie lady. The cookie lady is a one lady show. She makes fresh, hot, and delicious homemade cookies all day long. You walk in and it reminds me of a friendly version of the soup nazi. You walk through, grab your cookies, and deposit your money in the money jar. What makes the cookie lady even better is that all the cookies are 3 for a dollar. Can you believe it, 3 cookies for 1 dollar! My favorite are the space cookies! Mmm mmm good!

The cookie lady is located on 16th Street mall right next to Republic Plaza (the tallest building in Denver.) So now our journey was now taking us down the 16th Street Mall.  Part of the scavenger hunt allowed us to gain extra points by taking extra random pictures or gathering extra trinkets. One extra random picture needed was a picture of somebody in a wolf t-shirt. I took it upon myself to make this one happen!

Next we found ourselves making our way to the Denver Convention Center. The Denver Convention Center is known for one particular piece of art. This sculpture is titled, I See What You Mean and it is a sculpture of a 40 foot Big Blue Bear.

We were having trouble figuring out the answer to one of the clues. So what did we do? We stopped to chug a margarita from a random mexican restaurant. This may not sound like the smartest idea, but remember I am currently on the Universe's side, and the idea turned out to be great. The waiter at the Mexican restaurant was able to give us the answer we were looking for. The clue said we needed to go to the mexican restaurant named for something we wouldn't want to get caught wearing and the bar was also named for the long toothed beast that lived above the bar. Well that bar was....wait for it......CROCS!

Next Stop, Coors Field! Yep, this is where the Colorado baseball team The Rockies play. I love this place! It has a view of the mountains that is amazing! The mascot is a purple dinosaur named Dinger....Why? During construction of Coors field there was a 66-million-year-old dinosaur bone found. So the mascot became a purple dinosaur. Coors field also houses the Sandlot Brewery. What's important about this brewery? Well they invented Blue Moon, and now Coors mass produces it!!!!!!

Another clue had to due with playing a piano. Usually there are pianos up and down 16th Street mall.  Anyone can play. For some reason this day the pianos were not on the mall. Instead of giving up we found our own piano and completed the task. I will leave you with this final picture, and just know that my team won the scavenger hunt that day!

Karaoke Rockstar and Thriller/Rain Jacket in One

Saturday Night- I went out with my girls Tiffany and Colleen. We started at Stoney's because that's the sports bar where I watch football. I wanted to catch the LSU game before we went out. I started the bar in my LSU t-shirt and then towards the end of the game, I switched over to a black tank top and a lavender grayish purplish jacket that I bought earlier that week. I was excited about the jacket, but all that was about to change:

I guess I should have expected it really. I watch football with all boys. It was like 7 to 1, as soon as the jacket came on the comments came out. It started off simple enough.

Boy #1: What's with the rain jacket?
Me: This is not a rain jacket. It is just a fall jacket.
Boy #1: Oh

An undetermined amount of time goes by. Boy #2 approaches.

Boy #2: That's a nice looking rain jacket.
Me: It's not a rain jacket. It's just a jacket. Like for the fall. (I say the last part with confidence.)
Boy #2: Oh
Me: I am going to do karaoke tonight. What should I sing?
Boy #2: Maybe Michael Jackson.
Me: Why Michael Jackson?
Boy #2: I think it's the jacket. Reminds me of Michael Jackson.
Me: (eyes rolling) Whatever.

I turn back to the game. A few more minutes go by. My friends Colleen and Tiffany show up. We talk for a bit. Boy #3 approaches to say goodbye.

Boy #3: Emily, I am outta here girl. Sweet rain jacket. I didn't know it was going to rain?
Me: (A little force in the voice) This is not a rain jacket. It is just a simple fall jacket.

Boy #2: (Turns as he hear me state my fact.) Smile creeps on his face.
Me: Why does everyone think this is a rain jacket?
Girlfriends: We think it's CUTE!
Boy #3: Hey, I am sorry (runs away as quickly as possible)
Boy #2: Emily, I really do like fashion. I like your jacket.

Boy #4 approaches and stares at my jacket for a second.

Boy #4: Emily, if this is not a rain jacket. What is that zipper doing in back at the top of your jacket.

Me: I freeze up a bit. I know what they are thinking. My jacket I have been defending has a hood zipped up in it. Damnit. They are going to call this a rain jacket.

Boy #4: Unzips zipper, rolls out a hood, and places hood on my head.

Me: OK so it has a hood. But does this jacket feel waterproof? Ha! I win! (I then ask them to roll the hood back into the zipper pouch and quickly change the subject.)

An undetermined amount of time goes by. Fun girl chat. Yummy whiskey drinks. And then Boy #5 takes a breath from flirting by the girl next to me. He looks up at me and a wild look creeps into his eye.

Boy #5: Emily, what is this Jacket that you have on. I must try it on. It's all Thriller-like.
Me: And here we go again.
Boy #5: Please let me try it on.
Me: No
Boy #5:(Un-deterred)
Me: Will you leave me alone if I let you try on the jacket?
Boy #5: Wild look in the eye.
Me: Here you go.
Boy #5: Does Thriller dance.

So needless to say. My jacket was a hot topic with the boys, but not in the sexy way. It was only in the Thriller rain jacket way. Whatever way that is.

After the jacket talk, we went to karaoke. I however did not choose Michael Jackson. I chose Bonnie Tyler. I chose "Total Eclipse of the Heart." And let's just say this tone deaf bitch got down. I may be tone deaf but I like to think I have a stage presence. In fact, my friend Colleen came to the stage to sing with me and I shooed her away. Sorry Girl! But never mess with a karaoke diva during a "Total Eclipse of the Heart" Solo.

10 Weeks of Dedication, Hard Work, and Car Bombs

July 15, 2010 was a new day for me. I was about to embark upon a difficult journey. I was beginning my training for the warrior dash. The warrior dash, for those of you who do not know, is a 3 mile race up the side of Copper mountain at an altitude of 9,700 feet of death. It is also littered with obstacles such as  cargo nets, mud pits with barbed wire, and leaping over flames as you race towards the finish. You are rewarded for your feats with a sweet warrior hat, a turkey leg, and a brew. I will not lie my intentions for signing up for the race were skewed 20% for the feeling of accomplishment 10% because obstacles and playing in mud sounded like fun  and 70% because I needed that cool warrior hat. There was only one problem....I could not run a mile, let alone 3 miles.

The last time I probably tried to run more than a mile was in high school when I was forced to run the "zig zag" while in Dysfunc PE (Yes, for those of you who did not attend my HS and were not Creekers.....people who did not play sports actually had to go to a P.E. class called Dysfunc, as in Dysfunctional.)  What makes things even worse, is that I asked my friend Colleen, who had just finished a tri-athalon, to participate in the festivities with me.

This is how I happened upon the Irish Snug Run. Every Thursday a local bar called.....you guessed it.......The Irish Snug, hosts a 5k run. The run is free and it goes around Cheeseman Park. Afterwards the bar rewards you with free spaghetti and salad.

The bar may have rewarded peeps with free food; however every week, I rewarded myself with a Harp and a car bomb.  Then after 10 runs you receive a free running jersey. It makes you official. I just had to have one of these jersey's.

All this sounds fun, right? Well let's go back to that fateful day of my first run. I was pumped up and ready to go. It was my first run so I was prepared for a lot of walk/jogging. But for some reason on that day, my brain saw myself being a lot more bad ass then I really was. My brain had thoughts like, "3 miles...eh....can't be that bad." "I bet I could run at least half of this shit before I have to walk." So let the races begin.

I begin to jog with Colleen (tri-atholon completer). After the first two blocks, talking is a no-go. At least on my end. Colleen is chatting like we are sitting down at a bar enjoying a beer. Oh what I wouldn't give to be at that bar. After 3 more blocks, I started to sound like I could be in Lamas class (sh, sh, sh, phew....he, he,he phew).  3 more blocks and done. Finito. I had to walk. Let's just say my first run did not meet all of my brain's expectations. My brain was just a little too cocky. Big Ego.

But I never gave up. I continued. And by week 3 I could jog the whole thing. Even the Botanical Hell of death. Get it...I switched hill with hell! This fat kid was even able to do the Gin Mill run on Tuesdays, every once in a while that is. For those of you who don't know the gin mill. Oh Boy. You start at a bar. (Starting to understand my running patterns...hehe...running and bars go hand and hand.) Runners basically sprint 2 miles, do a leg strengthening boot camp, and then run the last mile home. Let's just be nice and say I am the caboose in that train. Let's also say that the 2 dollar vodka drink I had at the end of each run was the most refreshing vodka drink ever. And even though that run made me feel like the fat kid in gym class, I still got my Bootlegger Jersey:

The warrior dash came and went. And I had to make the decision. Would I stay with the Snug? Would I be able to dedicate myself to at least 10 runs for the jersey?  I mean I had missed 1 run for Happy Hour, 3 runs for pre-season football. But I stuck with it, and this past Thursday I hit run number 10!!!!! Ding, ding, ding.....winner winner, chicken dinner!!!!!!! I am an official snugger!!!! After I completed run number 10, I did the usual....chug a water, chug a car bomb while toasting myself, and then drink a Harp while I waited for free Spaghetti:

And then another. (My camera phone gives people demon eyes):

Colleen, Tiffany, Me

And then my moment had arrived. It felt like a real awards show (at least in my head). Plus the 2 car bombs had made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I had run 3 miles for 10 weeks and now my Jersey:

Not only did I feel accomplished,  I have made a lot of new friends from all the runs. I even have my own little running crew. They don't even mind that I still suck at running- despite 10 weeks of trying. But like the little engine who could, I will keep on keeping on! So I will leave you with this pic of my cool warrior hat. The need for this hat is what started it all.....running, new friends (Colleen, Tiffany, Mike, Jeff, Karen, Greg, and Alex...Thanks!), bad ass running jerseys that make me look all legit and shit, and of course lest we forget my love of car bombs:)

I am now the Universe's Bitch

Last night I started reading a book. What book, you ask? We shall get to that later. But the book talks about noticing omens, listening to the universe, following your destiny, doing what you love, and learning that dreams are the purpose to life and when you realize your dreams you realize your purpose. So on and so forth,you get the point. So, I have decided to try it out. I am going to listen to the world, and I am going to be the Universe's Bitch. If you are thinking bad idea, Don't:) I am now 27 and still have no idea what I want out of life (other than to be happy of course) so what could this hurt.

This morning I woke up feeling refreshed. I went to work and got things done; I felt accomplished. At 2 o'clock I went to pick up a 19" LCD TV.  If you are wondering why I went to pick up such a tiny TV in the middle of a work day.....it's because the universe told me to........just kidding.

The real story goes like this. The other day my co-worker Mel said my name could put in a drawing for FREE Budweiser merchandise. All I needed to give her was my name and address. My first thoughts should have been, "Free Bud Schwag, what am I in college?" But like George Washington, I will not tell a lie (unless I cut down the cherry tree of course.)....Or wait was that Abe Lincoln?.....Anyways I am a little behind in the growing up/maturity level thing, so my actual immediate thought was, "Fuck Yeah! Put my name in for the free Budweiser Schwag!

 Being someone who wins nothing, I forgot about the whole thing. But I now have the Universe on my side, and a week later a card comes in the mail. I open it cautiously thinking a.) junk b.) I forgot to pay a parking ticket c.) I forgot to pay a bill. I almost threw the card right back into the mail holder because  Denial and "what I get in the mail" go hand in hand, but that is another story....back on topic. I open the card and I see WINNER- 19" LCD TV, I almost threw it away. A scam. I was even walking to the trash can when my eye caught glimpse of the giant Budweiser Logo.  Yes!!!!! I had actually won something!!!!!

So back to present day. The guidelines for picking up your free gift were strict. So at 2 o'clock I left work to go to Budweiser for my gift! For now it is staying in the box, and yes I checked inside to make sure it was there.

I would like to take this time to sidetrack for a thank you. Dear Mel, thank you for being a boozer with me. Thank you for knowing I would enjoy Bud Schwag! And I am sorry, you never got your awesome beer cart:) It would have made a great addition at work.  This moment would not be complete without a ridiculous picture of us boozing it up together. Hehe! Oh boy!

Ok. Now back to today. I came back to work with my new TV in tow. I was not about to leave it in my car and let it get stolen. You see my trunk is full of random storage at the moment, so the TV would have had to sit in the back seat. NO WAY! Not my free TV!

I get back to my cubicle and I have an email awaiting me that says my package has arrived. I knew exactly what this package was. It was my 5" brimmed black floppy hat! Another great note to a great day! I immediately rush to the elevator as my package is waiting for me 1 floor below. And here is when things get even better. If you know me, you know I love a good eye candy. Especially a good eye candy with sexy hair. And there it was a sexy hair eye candy also waiting for the elevator. This made me nervous at first because usually I am super awkward on any elevator ride. Just imagine it gets worse when eye candy's around. I usually just stare at my feet, or awkwardly stare, or sigh, or say something about the weather. All bad and awkward things.

Well today was different, I had the universe on my side. I mean in one day I had work accomplishments, a new free tv, awesome floppy hat, and eye-candy elevator ride. So instead of awkward stares and weather talk, I blurted out, "Today is a great day." Now some may argue that this statement was awkward within itself. I think the universe made it work for me. Either way (awkward vs. conversational genius) I was about to get my first live peek at my new floppy hat.

************************WARNING HUGE SIDEBAR AHEAD*************************

Proceed With Caution

So you wondering about my purchase. Well let's take another quick sidebar (Don't get angry it was duly noted above). My friend Calla is throwing a huge benefit for an amazing charity (Pencils for Promise). The benefit is themed, and I believe it is well known that I heart themes. The theme is, "When I Grow Up." You are supposed to come to the benefit dressed as what you wanted to be when you grew up. This idea is genius...you see the NGO builds schools in third world countries so that children everywhere can be what they want to be when they grow up! Hence the inguenity!

I began to think.....when I was a little girl what did I want to be when I grew up? Nothing came to mind. However I did remember picture after picture of me in a gold lamet dress and a black shoal. I usually pranced around sassily -and according to my little sister, bossily- in the outfit. I made a joke at lunch club that I must have wanted to be rich when I grew up. What a great costume idea they thought! I was satisfied with the idea, but I still needed to know if I had any grown-up ambitions as a child. I called my mother immediately. It was the middle of the work day. Conversation goes like this:

Me: "Hi Mom. Whatcha Up to?"
Mom: "I am at work. What's going on?"
Me (Serious Tone): "Mom, I wont keep you long but I need to know something."
Mom: "Ok (sound of the contstanant k trailing off in the background.)"
Me: "Mom, What did I want to be when I grew up?"
Mom: Silence
Mom: "You know I can't really think of anything in particular."
Me: "Yeah I couldn't think of anything either......(small sigh.)"
Mom: "Well let me think on it for a bit (Spoiler alert, nothing ever came of this.)"
Me: "Well I remember that Gold Lamet dress and shoal. I made a joke that I must have wanted to do nothing but rich."
Mom: "Well that sounds about right."

And the conversation soon ended. I was a teensy bit sad that my childhood self had no ambition, no dream, no drive. (Especially since the book I am reading states, "We learn our true passion for life when we are young.") Of course as a little girl, I played house, teacher, and what not. But I never had a specific dream to be anybody...Well, except for a girl in a gold lamet dress with a black shoal.

When I was little, I even had a birthday party where everyone came dressed as adults....they had to be  fancy. We had a tea party and a three tier cake, and of course in true fashion I donned my gold lamet and black shoal. At 7 or 8 years old, I had a birthday party that could basically be themed, "Small children pretend to be wealthy."

Scarily, this childhood ambition of mine to "do nothing" corresponds with my current life. I still have no ambition, and I still have no idea what I want to be when I grow up.  This is just another reason why I am currently the universe's bitch.

So back to the floppy 5" brimmed hat- I decided to dress as "Rich" at this party in November. And the floppy hat is part of my costume. More details of the costumer to come later. But I will give you a sneak peek. Wait till you see it on.

**********DETOUR ENDS HERE******************

After all this things could surely not have gotten better, but then I returned to my cube with my awesome hat and decided to check out one of my favorite websites ever. It is a blog, but not just any blog...its an awesome blog! It hasn't been updated in a couple of weeks and I have been so sad. But once again, lest we forget whose side the universe is on (come on people you have to get this by now.) I open the page and bam............. amazingness. A great new hilarious story about cake....................... http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/

How much greater could a simple day be.

Ok. So the book I have been reading about destiny and listening to the universe. It is an international best seller and an easy read. But before I tell you more, let me mention some of the other books I've read in the past few months.

Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and the sequels- First book hard to get into but very good; end drags out a bit but ends with a surprise. Second Book could not put it down and the end (I won't say more).  The third book is closure.

The Help- Loved It! Easy Read and Very Touching. Portrays the old south in an accurate way. This book made me ask my mom why Mimi had a small bathroom with only a toilet in the laundry room. She swears it was not a bathroom for the help.

Water for Elephants- Another easy read. It is about the circus, which at first made me hesitant, but I loved it. If you just want to read a good story, this is it!

And now the current book I am reading is:

This is book can be as deep as you take it, but it is also a good story. I have a feeling this book will be read several times. But for now it has just made me the bitch of the universe.*  I hope that all you people out there are also reading some great books. If you have a suggestion, make a comment.




*Please note I do take this book very seriously and "bitch of the universe" is a crude phrase that I use in good blog humor.

Not A Strawberry Mango.....

I traveled to the Un-Safeway down the street for a carton of OJ. As I was making my way to the chilled juices, I had to pass through the produce section. There was the normal, apples, bananas, berries....and then a strange piece of produce caught my eye. Stranger than anything I had ever seen. I stopped, stared, and wondered- what is this thing? where did it come from?

My impulsive nature set in and I immediately reached out and grabbed it.  Owie!!!!  Apparently I did not think that the giant sharp pointy things would actually be so sharp and pointy. It was of oblong football nature. The outside color was somewhat of a translucent yellow, with a pinkish color piercing through. It was also, as previously discussed, covered in sharp pointy things. I had to have it, but I also needed to know what this strange thing was called. I looked at the signs and saw Strawberry Mango. If a Strawberry was mixed a mango, I could imagine nothing but deliciousness.

I came home and immediately ran to my roommates room to show her my great find. "What is that," she asked? With glee I shouted out, "It's a Strawberry Mango!" My roommates gf looked at me like she did not quite believe that's what the fruit actually was. I handed the fruit over in confidence, but apparently, my imagination had run away with me again. She looked down and looked at me and said, "The sticker says horned melon." How could that be? And more importantly where in the hell did I get strawberry mango from? Apparently smart people know you can't mix a strawberry with a mango.

Needless to say, I then lost interest in the fruit. Left it on the corner for 3 days. It got bad and I just threw it out without even tasting it. $5.99 and crushed dreams later, I decided to take a picture of the fruit before I threw it out.

Please keep in mind the piece of fruit was getting bad, so this photo does not show all the glory of the fruit that was  a strawberry mango for 10 minutes of my life. It also does not really justify the sharpness and pointedness of this slightly demonic fruit:

Somebody Needed the Weekend and It was Definitely THIS BODY!

9:00 A.M.- Headed to Starbucks. I knew I needed caffeine, but little did I know how bad. I approached the Starbucks counter to the friendliest face I have ever seen. Everyday I go into Starbucks, and I order the same drink- Iced Non-fat Caramel Machiato. Today was no different. I wanted the usual, but on this Friday awkwardness was about to go down. "I would like an Iced Caramel Iced Machiatio Iced Venti Iced....(3 second pause while I embarrassedly looked at my feet) and then I just blurted out non-fat like I had Turrets. The girl just looked at me, for what seemed like 10 seconds, when all actuality it was probably 1 or 2 seconds, and said "So you wanted the Caramel Machiato Iced?" She then proceeded to laugh at me because I had made the most awkward Starbucks order ever. She even mentioned she heard me say the word Iced 4 Times! The embarrassment did not end there. She asked for my name so she could write it on the glass (typical), but she also drew a "silly face" and wrote the word Iced on it just so we were positive the order would be correct. What a nice surprise when I received my drink.....Don't believe me:

This would not be the first "Silly" thing that had happened to me this week. Let's just say that I spent Tuesday morning at the DMV. I guess I should take everyone back to Sunday Night. I had spent the whole day watching football. It was a gorgeous day, and I decided to walk the mile and a half home, rather than call a cab. The walk was great, but at the end of my journey I noticed a shortcut. Ahead of me was a 5-6ft concrete wall/ledge. I decided if I hopped over that I could save myself about 3 city blocks. I went for it. Everything was going great except for the fact that I had decided to wear flip flops that day. When I hopped onto the sidewalk, the flip-flop actually flopped underneath my foot. This caused my big toe to scrape across the concrete. Let's just say that my toe lost the fight against the sidewalk. A whole layer of skin gone. OWIE!

But the story doesn't end there. When I got home I realized my license was, (Duh Duh Duhnnnnnn) GONE! There are two things that could have happened. 1.) It fell out of my purse as I catapulted over the wall. 2.) It is Fall, the weather got chilly, so I pulled my sweater out of my purse on the walk home, It could have also fallen out then. But the truth of the matter was, it was gone. Finito! So I had to go to the DMV on Tuesday for a new license. So Owie Toe, Lost License, Can't even use my words to order my everyday coffee drink. Lets just say, that I opened this at 4 o'clock on the dot today at work:

And the Initial Chapter Begins

Ok. If you are reading this, you just found out that for some reason your good friend Emily has started a blog called LOST on Soggy Waffles. Your initial thought was probably WTF. Your immediate second thought was probably....Well, you never know. It is Emily.

However before I break the suspense and explain my title, I would like to let you know why/how this whole thing started. My amazing friend and cube partner Calla (Louisiana friends remember her name, she will be brought up a lot) has to "Listen"/"Talk" to me almost all day, every day. She gets to hear about my wonderful friends and family in the south and all of my daily excursions (good or bad). Today for the 3rd or 5th time she has let me know that I should start my own blog. Then later this evening, I was enjoying a pork chop and a screwdriver when I decided, "By-joe Calla, I think your right!"

So here we are. A girl with no computer skills has started a blog. I mean, I have a lot to learn. Look at my blog background for Christ's sake....it was the generic template that was available. I tried to go to the advance tab to update the background, but WHOAH....Way too Scary! Baby Steps, Baby Steps! Also, I have no idea what to write about each day? I mean I want to learn how to keep this blog "Goldilocks". You know, not too much, not to little, but just right. That won't happen for a while. But I am guessing your already knew that. Oh and lest we forget... my conversational writing skills are not the best. Be prepared for run-on sentences, unnecessary commas, and the excessive use of ellipses.

Ok, now that you know to expect far from perfection, we will move on to the next subject. What is this blog about? Everyone in the blog world has their niche, but......get ready......enter Emily. This blog is for anything and nothing. It can be used to update you on the events of my life, let you know my random thoughts of the day, for pictures, to let you know about any random cute boys, to let you know about any "deep discussions" I've had in my favorite conference room or wherever;), or to simply let you know how irresponsible or dumb I can still be as an adult ( cough, cough...not knowing that the  shift key could be used for CAPS). Anyways, just so you know, my main blogging reason  is to keep my closest friends from back home updated on my life, as if  I was still with you in Louisiana. It is also to entertain my friend Calla and others in Denver , who are just plain bored at work.

Ok, it's almost my bed time, so I guess I should finally allow you in on the reason behind my blog title. Duh...duh...duhnnnnn (that is the dramatic movie climax sound). My friend Calla's original thoughts on a blog name/theme had to deal with the dirty dirty south meeting the wild wild west. I loved it! But, blog titles are catchy, and since I can't even create a background, I needed a catchy title.

So, I began to think, and for some reason I began to think of compasses. And then I became distracted. My mind began to drift to the series finale of LOST. And then it kept drifting. What if I could live on an island where the Louisiana Southern and the Colorado West could somehow splice/merge into perfect harmony. And then before I knew it, back to compasses. And then a few seconds later I was thinking of third grade....you know when teachers teach you how to remember directions.  "Never Eat Soggy Waffles." And I then began to think of the 2 places I love.......the South (Soggy) and the West (Waffles). Then my mind left compasses and went back to me thinking of this LOST Island where everything I love about the South (Soggy) and West (Waffles)are combined....but yet my thoughts were slightly weirder because my mind was on LOST. And then my brain decided to merge all my thoughts at once. If I were LOST on this island.........the coordinates would somehow be the south (soggy) on top of the west (waffles). Not like a normal compass...In fact, the exact opposite. And I would be LOST on Soggy Waffles! So if you get it or not....there it is! I am going to leave you with this thought tonight, but won't leave you for too long. Because I have to tell you about the fabulous floppy brimmed 5 inch black hat I just bought, and why I bought it:)

But can't leave the blog without a, "what is going on picture?" of Calla and I! Calla, I love this silly pic! You have on the, "I am trying to dance and we have taken 20 pics face." I have on the "Just one more" face:)

But we  do need more pics STAT!